Destroyer
by ZHlln
Summary: The Mortal Instruments.JPOV. Too love is too destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.Is that what was happening. Was he in love with Clary? Implied Jace/Clary and Clary/Simon
1. Destroyer

Set in City of Bones, Jace is in the infirmary after the events at Hotel Dumort. Jace's point of view.

Destoyer

Clary walked in, clean, sweet smelling, hair fiery under the bright lights of the infirmary. There was something so strange about her; not in a bad way. Unsettling, that's what I'd told her before. Every time she entered a room my heart started to thump faster, more unevenly; and I could quite honestly say he didn't care for the feeling.

"Oh. It's you" Alec said from his seat on the windowsill. I couldn't understand Alec's problem with Clary. He glowered at his back.

"Hodge says he's on his way and that you can both cling to your flickering sparks of life until he gets here. Or something like that." She looked at Simon and then me. He could see that she was going to go to Simon. A strange bitter feeling sprang in my chest.

_Pull yourself together Jace!_

"I wish he'd hurry" I said, acting out my wounded prince routine.

"Why? Does it hurt?" Clary asked slightly anxiously. I liked that she cared for me. But I couldn't let her see that I was hurt, that would go completely against my nature.

"No," I said as scornfully as I could "I have a very high threshold for pain. In fact its less of a threshold and more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer. But I do easily get bored." I squinted at her; her face was less worried now and looked slightly exasperated. Whoops. One last shot. "Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived you'd dress up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?" I asked her, the picture of her in a skimpy nurse's outfit slid into my mind. I was sure my pupils had dilated.

"Actually, I think you misheard. it was Simon who promised you the sponge bath" This girl knew how to play. My eyes slid over to Simon's form involuntarily. He grinned at me and said:

"As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome."

I Shuddered "I knew we should have left you as a rat"

Clary laughed and went to sit by Simon. Her laugh was so sweet, like chiming bells. I smiled secretly. The smile vanished as soon as it came. Simon? What was so special about him? What about me? I remembered that moment in the car park where they were hugging each other I'd never felt like that before. I felt so … deflated. I didn't feel deflated anymore. I felt angry. Angry at her for choosing him. Angry at him for being here. _Wait Jace;_ a voice in my head reasoned. _She hasn't chosen yet. You can still get her._

What was happening to me? I've never felt like this before. I recalled my own words to Clary, ones that had been spoken to me by my father

_To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed._

Is that what was happening? Was I in love with Clary? Everything was so strange; so mixed up. My head was starting to hurt. I turned my head just in time to see Simon kiss Clary on the cheek.

He shot me a smug look.

_Cheeky bastard…_

I had the sudden desire to hit something, preferably him. Clary walked out of the room. I gave a small, inaudible sigh as the door clicked shut. So this is what love was like.

My father was right; this feeling could be the destroyer of many

Not my best work... please review.


	2. Charming

Charming

Set in chapter 6 in City of Bones (Falling Angels)

OK. Now a few people have asked me to continue with my story _Destroyer._ And whilst I was suprised and thrilled that people had liked it so much, I had no Idea how the hell I was gonna carry on with it. Eventually, I had the idea to do some select parts of chapters 16 and 17 in City Of Bones from Jace's point of view. So thats what i'm going to do. Please review and tell me what you think!

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I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cool, slightly musty air of the institute. I knocked lightly on the door. The door opened quietly and Clary peered around the edge of the door. I caught a glimpse of the soft cotton tank top she was wearing. Was she in her pyjamas?

"Were you asleep?" I asked curiously, not wanting her to be angry at me if I had just woken her up.

"No. Why would you think that?" She asked as she stepped out into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind her. She _was_ wearing her pyjamas: a light blue cotton tank top and shorts. My eyes came to a halt on her shapely legs; I gulped slightly, mentally slapping myself and pulled my eyes away.

"No reason" She had seen me looking at what she was wearing.

"I was in bed most of the day" She explained, looking somewhat nervous. I wondered why. "What about you? Aren't you exhausted?"

I was. But I couldn't let her know that; I had a surprise for her and now was the perfect time.

"No. Much like the postal service, demon hunters never sleep. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these-" I knew I had gone back to being an asshole again, but I couldn't help it. Isabelle had told me once she thought it was a nervous habit, which it probably was; but I couldn't let Isabelle know that she was right. That was like giving a criminal your home address.

"You'd be in major trouble if gloom of the night stayed you" Clary pointed out. I grinned, more out of appreciation for her putting up with me than for the comment itself.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I saw she was shivering; Goosebumps were raised on her arms. I had a sudden longing to put my arms around her; too protect her from the cold.

_Stop it! _A voice in my head commanded me; I always imagined that it was the voice of my father. Although so much time had passed that I couldn't actually remember what the sound of his voice anymore.

_Too love is too destroy…_

Clary was waiting for an answer, she looked at me expectantly. I had too options here: I could be nice, polite, charming. Or I could be 'asshole-Jace' and hit her with another cynical comment. I went with the latter.

"'Here' as in you bedroom 'here'. Or 'here' as in the great spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you're asking whether it's all just some cosmic coincidence or there's a greater metaethical purpose to life, well, there's a puzzler for the ages. I mean, simple ontological reductionism is clearly fallacious argument, but-"

I saw Clary roll her eyes and turn back towards the door "I'm going back to bed" She said and reached for the door knob

Oops. Quickly my shadow hunter reflexes kicked in, fluidly, I slid between her and the door.

"I'm here because Hodge reminded me it was your birthday" I told her quietly. See. I could be charming.

Clary looked at me, exasperated.

"Not until tomorrow…" She began, trying to put me off.

"That's no reason to start celebrating now" I said, casually.

She squinted at me and a half amused smirk slid onto her face

"Your avoiding Alec and Isabelle" Well…yes. But that wasn't the main reason, but there was no need to tell her that. I nodded.

"Both of them are trying to pick fights with me" That was the truth. Alec and Isabelle were furious with me. So as soon as I could, I got out of the firing range.

"For the same reason?"  
"I couldn't tell." I glanced down the hallway, watching to see if either of the Lightwoods would appear as if by magic. "Hodge too. Everybody wants to talk to me. Except you. I bet you don't want to talk to me." I winced at the slightly resentful edge to my voice.

…_and to be loved is to be the one destroyed._

"No. I want to eat. I'm starving" Me too. As slick as a magician producing a bunch of flowers from his sleeve, I pulled the paper bag out form behind my back.

"I sneaked some food from the kitchen when Isabelle wasn't looking"

Clary grinned, her whole face lit up radiantly and her green eyes sparkled with amusement.

_My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun…_

"A picnic? It's a bit late for Central Park, don't you think? It's full of…"

"Faeries. I know." I waved my hand nonchalantly.

Her face fell minimally, thinking through what I had just said.

"I was going to say muggers, though I pity the mugger that goes after you."

I nodded, satisfied. She was learning.

"That is a wise attitude and I commend you for it. But I wasn't thinking about Central Park. How about the green house?

She looked apprehensive "Now? At night? Won't it be – dark?"

I smiled and thought of what I had planned for her.

"Come on. I'll show you."

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Next Chapter will be midnight flower from Jace's POV. Tell me what you think!


	3. The Midnight Flower Part 1

Midnight Flower part 1

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of The Mortal Instruments

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The sweet, sultry scent of flowers hung heavy in the cool air of the greenhouse. I walked in, holding the door open politely for Clary. This place was magical. The multicoloured lights of New York blinked sleepily through the tall windows; they were dotted around the black sky like fairy lights. I turned to look at Clary. Her jaw was hanging open in awe and her eyes were dilated; she spun around slowly, trying to take in as much of the view as possible.

"Wow. It's so beautiful; here at night." I smiled at the look on her face. This place _was_ beautiful. Just not in the same way as something else I could mention.

_You're a fool…_a voice snarled in my head_. _I ignored it. Not tonight, I wasn't going to listen tonight.

"And we have the place all to ourselves, Alec cans Isabelle hate it up here. They have allergies."

_All to ourselves_ I felt unashamedly happy about that. I grinned at her.

"What kind of flowers are these" She asked

I shrugged and sat down on the cool floor, plants tickling my shoulders.

"No idea. You think I pay attention in botany class? I'm not going to be an archivist. I don't need to know about that stuff."

"You just need to know how to kill things?" I smiled at her; she seemed oddly vulnerable like that, her arms wrapped round her torso as she shivered.

"Yes" I answered honestly. "And also, I make a mean cheese sandwich. Try one." I offered her a slightly lumpy package. She smiled at me sweetly and sat down opposite, taking the sandwich from my hand. I pulled out the rest of the food.

"Not a bad haul" She said, admiring the feast in front of her. I took out my knife and started cutting the apples into sections.

"Well, it's not a birthday cake. But hopefully it's better than nothing."

"Nothing is what I was expecting, so thanks"

"Nobody should get nothing on their birthday. Birthdays should be special. My birthday was always the one day my father said I could do or have anything I wanted." I couldn't get over how comfortable I felt around Clary, I'd never felt so at ease before in my life, not with my father, not even with Alec who was my best friend.

"Anything?" She laughed "Like what kind of anything did you want?"

"Well, when I was five, I wanted to take a bath in spaghetti"

Why did I just tell her that? What the hell is happening to me?

"But he didn't let you right?" I paused before answering.

_Well, it's too__ late to back out now._

"No, that's the thing. He did. He said it wasn't expensive, and why not if I wanted? He had the servants fill a bath will boiling water and pasta, and when it cooled down…I took a bath in it." I saw her eyes widen curiously at the word _servants_, I felt my shoulders tense up resentfully.

"How was it?" She said, the ghost of a smile on her face.

"Slippery"

"I'll bet." She drifted off then, into her own little world. I watched as her eyes glazed over slightly, her vibrant hair framing her small, curious face. She came back with a small shake of her head. "What else did you ask for?"

"Weapons, mostly, which I'm sure doesn't surprise you. Books. I read a lot on my own."

"You didn't go to school?"

"No" I said slowly, I didn't like talking about this; my father, my lonely childhood, and no matter how comfortable I felt around Clary, I didn't think I ever would feel comfortable with this subject.

"But your friends-"She wouldn't let it go.

"I didn't have friends. Besides my father. He was all I needed" I felt her staring at me; shocked.

"No friends at all?"

_Why wouldn't she drop it?_

"The first time I saw Alec, when I was ten years old, that was the first timed I met another child my own age. The first time I had a friend." She dropped her gaze and stared at the floor sadly. That stung; I didn't want pity.

"Don't feel sorry for me. He gave me the best education, the best training. He took me all over the world. London. Saint Petersburg. Egypt. We used to love to travel. I haven't been anywhere since he died. Nowhere but New York" This was not how I had imagined this evening to be; and I didn't want to spend the rest of it feeling sorry for myself.

"You're lucky." Clary said "I've never been outside this state in my life. My mom wouldn't even let me go on the field trips top D.C. I guess I know why now."

Grateful the conversation had turned away from me, albeit not by much, I replied.

"She was afraid you would freak out? Start seeing demons in the White House?"

"There are demons in the White House" It wasn't a sarcastic remark, she was genuinely curious, I felt like laughing.

"I was kidding. I think. I'm sure someone would have mentioned it."

"I think she just didn't want me to go to far away from her. My mom, I mean. After my dad died she changed a lot." I raised my eyebrow at that.

"Do you remember your father?"

"No. He died before I was born."

"You're lucky. That way you don't miss him." I knew that probably sounded appalling, and in some vague part of my mind I was aware that I was giving away my weakness; my _Achilles heel_, if you will. I was showing my love for my family; and love for something is never good.

_Too love is too destroy, to be loved is too be the one destroyed. _

Those words were always floating round my head, always at the tip of my tongue. It was worse now I had met Clary.

"Does it go away? Missing him, I mean?" She asked quietly.

"Are you thinking of your mother?"

"Of Luke, actually"

That surprised me. _Luke? _I looked to judge her reaction, but her face was carefully blank.

"Not that's actually his name. I've been thinking about him," I told her "something in his behaviour doesn't add up"  
"He's a coward." She sounded so bitter that it shocked me, but it shouldn't have really, Luke was like the father Clary had never had." You heard him, he won't go against Valentine. Not even for my mother"

"But that's exactly-" I began to explain but I was cut off by a clock booming in the distance.

_Midnight_

In books and films, midnight was always the time where magic happened; and it did seem awfully cliché that the flowers I was showing her happened to bloom at midnight.

"Midnight." I said and stood up. I held out my hand and pulled her up beside me. "Now. Watch."

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Next Chapter will be the next part of The Midnight Flower. It may be a few chapters, It's a really long chap to type up...

Not that I mind really :)

Review!


	4. The Midnight Flower part 2

Midnight Flower part 2

Disclaimer: Nope

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"_Midnight." I said and stood up. I held out my hand and pulled her up beside me. "Now. Watch."_

I watched the flowers tense up, waiting to burst open. I saw Clary turn to ask me what was happening; I held up my hand.

"Wait" She turned back to the plant. Suddenly the flower buds started to shake, it bulged to the size of a tennis ball and burst open. The dark red petals spread out wards, as if they were stretching after a long nights sleep. I saw Clary's eyes widen in surprise.

"Oh!" She turned to look at me "Do they bloom every night?"

"Only at midnight" I felt oddly sentimental "Happy birthday, Clarissa Fray." She looked like she was about to cry.

"Thank you" she said quietly

"I have something for you" I shoved a hand in my pocket searching for a smooth, flat surface…

I held the witchlight out to Clary. She looked at me, puzzled.

"Huh. You know, when most girls say they want a big rock they don't mean, you know, literally a _big rock_." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. Its not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone."

"Oh" She sounded interested now, she closed her small hand around it and watched the light peek out through her fingertips.

"It will bring you light, even among the darkest shadows of this world and others"

When did I get to be so sentimental? I sounded like a complete sap even to my own ears.

_This is you're weakness, Jace…_My fathers voice echoed round my head; why won't he go away?

"Well, thanks. It was nice of you to give me anything." I could feel the tension pressing down on us, like a hot blanket on a humid night. It was stifling. Clary ploughed on, dtermined to break the tension;

"Better than a bath in spaghetti, any day." I knew I shouldn't have told her that. I stared at her blackly, and said threateningly;

"If you share that little bit of personal information with anyone, I may have to kill you."

"Well, when I was five I wanted my mother to let me go around and around in the dryer with the clothes. Difference is, she didn't let me."

"Probably because going around and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it." The tension had lifted slightly, though still not enough for my liking. We watched the blood-coloured petals fall to the ground in silence. Clary was the first to break it:

"When I was twelve, I wanted a tattoo. My mom wouldn't let me have that either."

I nodded; "Most Shadowhunters get their first marks when at twelve. It must have been in your blood."

"Maybe, although I doubt most Shadowhunters get a tattoo of Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on their left shoulder."

"You wanted a turtle on your shoulder?" I asked

"I wanted to cover up my chicken pox scar." She pulled down the strap of her tank top slightly, revealing a small white scar on her cream-coloured flesh. I gulped as some type of hot desire ran through my body; it was overpowering. I was losing my mind.

"See?" She pointed to the scar. I turned away; I couldn't cope with these feelings. I needed to get out before I did something rash. I couldn't believe how much I wanted her. It was terrifying.

"It's getting late," I said, no longer feeling like myself "We should go back downstairs."

Clary pulled up the strap to her top, with a look of chagrin and embarrassment. I wanted to hug her, to make her feel better…

_Stop it!_

I shook my head and turned towards the door_._

"Have you and Isabelle ever - dated?" I heard her ask from behind me; I turned around, shocked. Her face flushed a deeper scarlet.

"Isabelle?" I asked her blankly, what has Isabelle got to do with anything? My father sighed patronizingly in my head:

_She's jealous, Jace… _

Don't be stupid, father... Is she?

"I thought-" She fiddled with the hem of her top, looking at the floor. "Simon was wondering."

I felt hot rage shoot up inside me. _Simon? _

"Maybe he should ask her" I said, I sounded cooler than I felt.

"I'm not sure he wants to. Anyway, never mind. It's none of my business" She was still blushing. Maybe this was about her after all; not that slimy mundane. I smiled at her, like a cat ready to pounce.

"The answer is no. I mean, there may have been a time when one or the other of us may have considered it, but she's almost a sister to me. It would be strange"

"You mean you and Isabelle never-"

"Never"

"She hates me" Clary observed, I hated her thinking like that.

"No, she doesn't," I saw her look at me in surprise "You just make her nervous, because she's been the only girl in a crowd of adoring boys, and she isn't anymore"

"But she's so beautiful" Clary said looking amazed.

"So are you," I said without thinking "and in a very different way than she is and she cant help but notice that. She's always wanted to be small and delicate, you know. She hates being taller than most boys" Had I just called her beautiful? I was like somebody else was in charge of my mouth now and I was just watching and commenting in the background.

"We should probably go downstairs" She was staring at him. He felt very self-conscious especially now as he wasn't sure what he'd say next.

"All right" she answered and we started walking back.

I was absorbed in my thoughts. I'd never felt this way about anyone. What was so different about Clary? Why did I want her so much?

Suddenly she bumped into me, reflexively I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her from falling over. She turned round to look at me; her mouth open ready to apologise. And without consciously meaning to do it, my mouth collided with hers.

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Mwahaha! Cliff-hanger! The chapters in City of bones are so long that I'm afraid I'm going to spin this out for another few chapters. My arms start to ache after a while ;)

Review!


	5. The Kiss

The Kiss

Disclaimer: All Cassandra Clare's.

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_Suddenly she bumped into me; reflexively I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her from falling over. She turned round to look at me; her mouth open ready to apologise. And without consciously meaning to do it, my mouth collided with hers._

I was just as shocked as she was. My mouth was frozen in surprise and my ears were buzzing. My father's voice chanted angrily in my head:

_Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!_It was fading slowly, as if it knew it was fighting a losing battle. Suddenly my resistance snapped and with one smooth movement I put my arms around her, and pulled her closer. Her mouth opened and she pulled herself closer still, winding her fingers in my hair. I could feel the heat of her body, the smoothness of her skin. I wanted nothing more than to stay like this for eternity.

In some small part of my brain, the only part that was able to string together coherent thoughts I realised we were being watched. I felt a fluttering past my ear and with a cry of surprise I realised it was Hugo. That meant Hodge was not far behind. I pulled my lips away from Clary's although I kept my arms around her – I didn't want to let her go.

"Don't panic, but we've got an audience"

I gazed at her for a moment with a slight smile on my face. Her eyes were slightly glazed and her cheeks were flushed with a rosy hue. I saw her look over my shoulder at the raven, her eyes widened a fraction.

"If he's here Hodge won't be far behind" I whispered in her ear.

"Is he spying on you" She demanded looking shocked" Hodge, I mean"

"No. he just likes to come up here to think. Too bad- we were having such scintillating conversation" I laughed silently, I felt inflated with happiness. This was a strange feeling; I'd never been so alive, so _buoyant. _I didn't think anything could dampen my mood.

We walked back downstairs in silence, I couldn't think of anything to say. I kept hold of her hand, such a simple gesture sending fire through my veins. I wondered if she felt it too.

We reached her room; she lent nonchalantly against the wall beside the door and said coolly:

"Thanks for the birthday picnic" I wasn't keen on letting go of her hand.

"Are you going to sleep?" I asked warily, worried I was being dismissed.

"Aren't you tired?" She said, answering a question with a question. She told me she hated that. My voice was husky when I replied;

"I've never been more awake."

I bent to kiss her once more, this time it was a conscious decision. I cupped her face gently, my other hand still holding hers. I brushed my lips against hers, the lightest of touches sending sharp sparks of electricity through my body. Need coursed through my body, desperately I pressed my lips against hers with more pressure. She parted her lips and –

The door was thrown open with a bang.

"What the _hell_?"

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This one was a bit short, but I wanted to end it on that line. More cliff-hangers! It does mean this story is going to be even longer though – sorry.

I would like to take a moment to say thank you to all the lovely people who reviewed, it so gratifying to know that people are enjoying this. So thanks! Next Chapter will be up soon. Review!


	6. Every act must have a consequence

Every act must have a consequence

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Cassandra Clare.

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_The door was thrown open with a bang._

"_What the hell?" _

Simon stood in Clary's door way, without glasses, looking slightly dazed. His eyes became sharper as he stared in horror at the scene before him.

_What was he doing in her room?_ Jace thought angrily, a disturbing surge of jealously threatened to overwhelm him. Clary leaped away from me as if she had been burnt. My jealousy flashed into anger.

_Was she going to choose him? Again?_

"Simon! What are you-I mean, I thought you were-" Clary stammered pathetically.

"Asleep? I was. Then I woke up and you weren't there, so I thought" Simon was flushed with anger, I could feel it radiating off of him.

"I'm sorry" she said.

_Why is she apologizing? Does she regret spending tonight with me? _

White hot rage shot through my body faster than a speeding bullet. If that was the way she felt…

"In future, Clarissa" I said coolly, becoming the distant and bitterly sarcastic man I'd always been "it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in you bed, to avoid such tedious situations"

Clary went red with embarrassment. Simon went redder still but because of a different reason. I was playing with emotions here; I didn't care.

"You invited him to bed?" Simon demanded looking shocked.

"Ridiculous isn't it? We never would have fit." My vice was smooth but the implications of my words were so acidic, I was burning a hole in Clary's attempt at keeping peace.

"I didn't invite him to bed" She snapped, trying to defend herself, my words had obviously stung. "We were just kissing"

"Just kissing? How quickly you dismiss our love" My voice mocked her acerbically in an attempt to hide how much she was hurting me.

"Jace…" She began reproachfully. I didn't want to listen. Malice burned through my veins, spreading like wildfire. I had never been so angry.

"Simon, it's late. I'm sorry we woke you up" Clary said dejectedly, knowing she had lost.

"So am I" Simon snapped, huffily he stomped back into the room, banging the door shut behind him.

Clary stared at me, her eyes full of remorse; they were begging for forgiveness.

I didn't care.

"Go on, go after him. Pat his head and tell him he's still your super special little guy. Isn't that what you always do?" I smiled at her mockingly.

"Stop it." She said, resigned. "Stop being like that" My wicked smile grew. I was verbally poking her and I had finally gotten a response.

"Stop being like what"

"If you're angry, just say it. Don't act like nothing ever touches you. It's like you never feel anything at all."

That stung. Showing emotion was weakness, that's what my father always told me. That's was why I always had my guard up, as Clary said. I had never shown any emotion until I met her; I resented her for it.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you kissed me."

_Words are weapons, Jace. They can hurt people more than a knife ever can._

There he was again. My father. I didn't push him away this time. Clary was looking at me incredulously.

"_I_ kissed _you_?"

"Don't worry. It wasn't that memorable for me, either." With a bitter satisfaction I watched the hurt deep in her eyes. Then, without a second glance, I walked away before I could regret hurting her.

My footsteps echoed loudly in the corridor but not loud enough to drown out the quiet click, as the door swung shut behind Clary.

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C'est finis!

Right, I'm done. Please tell me what you all think and thank you to all the people who have reviewed and all the people who actually bothered to read this. I am planning to do some more fanfiction for The Mortal Instruments in the future-you haven't heard the last of me!

Review!


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